At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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