Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
