She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Randomize
