just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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