Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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