omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize