You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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