I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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