she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Randomize