Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
