I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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