I don't think brook has ever known best
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
