about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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