Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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