Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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