i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Randomize
