your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
either way he was missing a nipple.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
This is the high leading the old right now
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
