I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
