First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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