mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
