Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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