I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
