so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize