Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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