I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
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