Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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