He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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