I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
