Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
