I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
