So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
