Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
