I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
