By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
