No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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