Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
