Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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