the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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