It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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