so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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