Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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