I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize