DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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