Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
