I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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