So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
