it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We left an ass print on the piano.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He better not be in your backpack
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
