Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
