It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
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Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
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I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
They took my balls.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
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