ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize