I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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