My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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