note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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