Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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