so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
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