and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did a backflip because drugs
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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