Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
