You made me cry and you don't even care
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
