Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
false alarm, still single
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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